I answered the door without a shirt and with my jeans barely zipped up. You looked me over pretty hard thru the torn screen.
"Delivery...for...Narcissus", said the short, cute, brunette parcel carrier.
I had hoped you would comment on my looks, seeing as I was going for the 'just finished a workout' vibe when in truth I was in the 4th hour of a masturbation marathon and could probably benefit from an IV drip.
"Oh, that be me baby girl. Say, you want to come indoors, lighten the load, maybe have a cold one?"
I hadn't even opened the door when you retorted.
"Yea, says here on the package...Miley Cyrus inflatable...Seems you already have a date. Wouldn't wanna intrude."
You made a condescending smirk that if you weren't so cute I believe I would have punched you in the throat.
"Well...Seems I need to discuss with a certain sales webmaster the definition of the word 'discreet," I replied as I fiddled with the latch.
"Is Miley even 18? What a tool..." as you were typing in your electronic clipboard.
"Come on, little brown, what-ya-say you come on in and the three of us can figure out...." But you cut me off.
"Are you retarded? No seriously? Because I don't want to be arrested for dragging a handicapped person into the middle of the street and beating the bejesus out of him..."
The fact that I relocked the screen door while you spoke should not imply I was scared. The narcissist is ever aware of Nemesis.
"You need to sign this Billy Ray."
As I slowly moved around the now open door I contemplated how you kept looking away, into the far off, like....there was a camera out there. Just like I do...you were playing the role so well I missed it.
Missed my cue! Damn!
So I had no other choice but to make my move. I finished signing and leaned in for the kiss I know you truly desired. My last thought was just how shocking your lips tasted.
...
They call it the 26C model Taser. C standing for civilian model since its based on the police tactical Taser26 version. The difference being, and this matters, is that the civilian model delivers a 10 second shock followed by a 30 second shock.
The manufacturer says this helps the user to secure the time needed for a get away. I know all this because little brown here took her get away time and used it to patiently explain to me these very particulars.
Needless to say I paid close attention- even after I lost control of my bowels. Except, and this I regret, I never caught her name.
Miley and me are waiting for you, my sweet echo,
N.
"Delivery...for...Narcissus", said the short, cute, brunette parcel carrier.
I had hoped you would comment on my looks, seeing as I was going for the 'just finished a workout' vibe when in truth I was in the 4th hour of a masturbation marathon and could probably benefit from an IV drip.
"Oh, that be me baby girl. Say, you want to come indoors, lighten the load, maybe have a cold one?"
I hadn't even opened the door when you retorted.
"Yea, says here on the package...Miley Cyrus inflatable...Seems you already have a date. Wouldn't wanna intrude."
You made a condescending smirk that if you weren't so cute I believe I would have punched you in the throat.
"Well...Seems I need to discuss with a certain sales webmaster the definition of the word 'discreet," I replied as I fiddled with the latch.
"Is Miley even 18? What a tool..." as you were typing in your electronic clipboard.
"Come on, little brown, what-ya-say you come on in and the three of us can figure out...." But you cut me off.
"Are you retarded? No seriously? Because I don't want to be arrested for dragging a handicapped person into the middle of the street and beating the bejesus out of him..."
The fact that I relocked the screen door while you spoke should not imply I was scared. The narcissist is ever aware of Nemesis.
"You need to sign this Billy Ray."
As I slowly moved around the now open door I contemplated how you kept looking away, into the far off, like....there was a camera out there. Just like I do...you were playing the role so well I missed it.
Missed my cue! Damn!
So I had no other choice but to make my move. I finished signing and leaned in for the kiss I know you truly desired. My last thought was just how shocking your lips tasted.
...
They call it the 26C model Taser. C standing for civilian model since its based on the police tactical Taser26 version. The difference being, and this matters, is that the civilian model delivers a 10 second shock followed by a 30 second shock.
The manufacturer says this helps the user to secure the time needed for a get away. I know all this because little brown here took her get away time and used it to patiently explain to me these very particulars.
Needless to say I paid close attention- even after I lost control of my bowels. Except, and this I regret, I never caught her name.
Miley and me are waiting for you, my sweet echo,
N.
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