I just met you...and this is crazy...but I know you are the one.
No animal spends more of its allotted time on Earth fussing over sex than Homo sapiens--not even the famously libidinous bonobo. When we left Eden, it was with an erection.
Your tan skin showed just enough thru your ripped jeans that you almost looked as good as I do. I don't like sharing the stage but for you I will make an exception. Roll film...
At first you pretended not to notice me at the coffee shop, even after I crawled under the table and took a good long look at your camel toe.
But eventually you were so startled that I was 1/2 way up in your crotch that you knocked your grande iced mocha latte (no whip cream) onto what looked like a brand new MacBook Air. Bummer.
You didn't believe that my laptop cable was snagged. I admit that line rarely works, especially when I don't actually have a laptop...but its such a go-to excuse in a pinch.
Lesser men than me would have thought your cursing and crying was an obvious denial of my unorthodox advance. But I knew better. I always do. The attraction was undeniable.
Your cry for attention was heard my sweet partaker of the apple. True, I was asked to leave, essentially kicked out of the garden, by the proprietor since I refused to actually buy anything but I waited by your car for an hour until a police cruiser told me to get going.
I left since I'm clearly not a stalker and so I could go to the library and run your plates.
I made sure to stall the honda right by the front door so you could have another good look at me. It was gonna stall anyway but I play even my weaknesses to the advantage.
Not sure who you were giving the finger to, I guess the cops. You are such a rebel. Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh.
When you get your apple product replaced, hit me up.
Mac daddy,
N.
No animal spends more of its allotted time on Earth fussing over sex than Homo sapiens--not even the famously libidinous bonobo. When we left Eden, it was with an erection.
Your tan skin showed just enough thru your ripped jeans that you almost looked as good as I do. I don't like sharing the stage but for you I will make an exception. Roll film...
At first you pretended not to notice me at the coffee shop, even after I crawled under the table and took a good long look at your camel toe.
But eventually you were so startled that I was 1/2 way up in your crotch that you knocked your grande iced mocha latte (no whip cream) onto what looked like a brand new MacBook Air. Bummer.
You didn't believe that my laptop cable was snagged. I admit that line rarely works, especially when I don't actually have a laptop...but its such a go-to excuse in a pinch.
Lesser men than me would have thought your cursing and crying was an obvious denial of my unorthodox advance. But I knew better. I always do. The attraction was undeniable.
Your cry for attention was heard my sweet partaker of the apple. True, I was asked to leave, essentially kicked out of the garden, by the proprietor since I refused to actually buy anything but I waited by your car for an hour until a police cruiser told me to get going.
I left since I'm clearly not a stalker and so I could go to the library and run your plates.
I made sure to stall the honda right by the front door so you could have another good look at me. It was gonna stall anyway but I play even my weaknesses to the advantage.
Not sure who you were giving the finger to, I guess the cops. You are such a rebel. Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh.
When you get your apple product replaced, hit me up.
Mac daddy,
N.
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