Signs of the times (Front lawn)

Which is scarier in the front yard?

A well thought out and surprising halloween display or a flurry of political campaign signs?

I say the latter. And yes I’m fine, thanks for asking. I had a stalker and had to drill down  into the deep web to ascertain from whence she came. The deep web, The dark net, The TOR. The DOT onion. If you have no idea of what I’m saying, it’s not for you. Anywho, she’s gone and I’m back. Like a rash.

I.

First, is there anything more pathetic and archaic than the campaign yard sign? I mean who is it meant for exactly? Oh, the person that lives here is a proud republican. Wow. I get it. Ah, the person across the street is clearly (and suddenly) a progressive. These neighbors don’t talk to each other of course because that’s unheard of. They will however outdo each other on idiotic signs. You have three Romney signs? FUCK THAT! I’m going for 8 plus the local school board candidate. Take that bitch across the street who I only see on Sunday morning church excursion. Love the new curtains by the way.

But this rant isn’t the usual, I hate signs and therefore I hate you version. I already hate you so I need more than that. I’m going for the even better idea that people who post yard signs are in fact NOT involved in politics AT ALL. Yes. I said not involved. As in any meaningful, measurable way. I do not include talking to and yelling at the television as meaningful or measurable.

I’ll go even further and suggest that the typical yard sign homeowner is NOT on any school board, campaign, or volunteer program. They don’t do anything because they posted a sign. Yes, you heard that right as well. You might think that they only post yard signs because they just don’t want to really do anything else, but you would be wrong. They don’t do other things because the yard sign was THE thing.

II.

When you value BELIEF more than ACTION, than a sign in your yard is THE BEST way to convey to neighbors and passerby’s alike, what you believe. Actions? Who has time to run around attending lectures and/or reading books, challenging arguments and diverse opinions? And then use that knowledge to effect some change? How can you possibly keep up with twitter, Facebook and the Kardashians AND do all that? 

Who has time to walk over and ask the person I’m attracted to if they might want to grab some grub and chit-chat when I can just so easily and safely post here instead? My beliefs (I just saw my soul mate!) matter more than actions (go over to them and eek out some words). Missed connections as digital yard signs. 

 “I already know what I believe N. and I believe the other guy is evil. So don’t bother me with why my candidate sucks ass as I already know he does but, he’s not EVIL.”

III.

What is happening above is not only belief OVER action but full blown narcissism. Its just easier, and more to the point narcissistic, to demonize the other. Whenever you find yourself defined by what you hate, dislike and fear, rest assuredly you are in the grips of narcissism. The perception disease. The- protect your imaginary, made up identity at ALL costs illness. Imaginary means you spend a lot of time propping up an identity that just isn’t true. You of course know this and so you have angst but you can’t direct that angst towards yourself. So it goes outward. The angrier you become (Often even surprising yourself) the more likely your not really doing anything effectual about whatever supposedly made you angry in the first place, or anything for that matter. 

“You’re not listening N., the other candidate is a part of a conspiracy. He’s a wolf in sheep clothing!!” 

Yes and inside coke and pepsi is high fructose corn syrup but you don’t see me with a yard full of signs demanding you pick the one with less, do you? I just drink water and hope that you ask one day, why am I so fit and healthy. (Picture me flexing in mirror. Go ahead...you know you wanna.) But your desire for me to agree with your beliefs won’t let you move on. You are stuck. Your man verse his man. American Idol without the crappy music and the winner is, and always will be, the system. Thanks for playing.

IV.

Having the right beliefs becomes all consuming because thats all you have. Political, religious, academic... it doesn’t matter so long as you get your belief out before your favorite shows come on. To act would be to expose the absence of real freedom. And your made up identity just won’t handle that. 

Yard signs are Cheap (free, like here) and they don’t demand anything of your time and energy. You can now go about your day doing whatever you like (nothing) with the added benefit of displaying your so-called beliefs. Beliefs devoid of any real actions. Unless “liking” shit on Facebook is now considered “action”. Or posting ads with one letter names is action. Like an ancient buddhist prayer wheel, your yard sign is out there in the wind, doing the work for you. Besides, the Walking Dead is on. Oh, the irony. I love that documentary. Wait, what...

N.