Well, technically we don't exactly work together. We are however in the same field. Definitely have the same interests.
I like to run. You like to run.
I like to carry firearms. You like to carry firearms.
I can be demanding. You can be demanding.
I would like to bend you over doggy-style and, well, you're a Bible carrying K-9 officer with LMPD.
A match, as they say, made in heaven.
We have so much in common, why, its almost criminal.
So its no surprise that our paths would finally cross. Golgotha style. You are Mary Magdalene to my Barabbas. The sodom up my Gomorrah.
True, I wasn't "invited" per say to the Women's Wednesday night bible study. But, let the record show that it was indeed a public establishment that they were arguing about Christ in and I had zero intention of robbing them. Or exposing myself. Or kidnapping for that matter. But sometimes you gotta show you mean business. Can I get an amen?
And as god is my witness, nor did I shoot your dog. Now...wait...just a god-damned creationist minute...you know as well as I do that ricochet's don't count. Its in the Bible.
Atheists really have no idea what they are missing.
All the usual characters were there too. There was Brenda "my husband just left me". She's been divorced 8 years. We have Claire "Jesus is going to kill everyone soon to show how loving and forgiving he is". Great rack. Says she's married but no one has ever seen her husband.
Ellen "8 kids" and Frita "7 kids". If you drop a bible on the floor anywhere near these two they get pregnant. Rumor has it that Ellen's uterus fell out one day right smack in the middle of communion. God bless her, she still managed to run VBS the rest of the day said Brenda. She scares me. Also in attendance is 'Sleepy' Samantha, 'Almost old enough to put in my spank bank' Casey and 'Crying' Rita who also holds the record for most Asians adopted this side of Seminary Hill.
But, you angel are my leading lady. My very own T.J Hooker cherubim. Yes you. Even busybodies Betty and Clare pretended not to notice your hotness (and they notice everything). They were facilitating last night and *that* was what finally put me over the edge. They finish each others sentences. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure Ellen and Frita were conspiring to murder you just for being single when I walked up and whipped out my pistols. Yes, one of them was a hard 9 inches of pure, lethal, pulsating, power and the other was my penis. If you, dear reader, happened to be in attendance, the air conditioning was WAY to high. Just saying.
In the ensuing melee, I never did catch your name. I did, like any good narcissist, leave my manifesto. Hopefully your almost done reading it. Hey, maybe you and the girls can study it? Casey told me to tell you 'hi'. She said that the age of consent in the Bible was 13. So. . . really, who am I too argue?
N.
I like to run. You like to run.
I like to carry firearms. You like to carry firearms.
I can be demanding. You can be demanding.
I would like to bend you over doggy-style and, well, you're a Bible carrying K-9 officer with LMPD.
A match, as they say, made in heaven.
We have so much in common, why, its almost criminal.
So its no surprise that our paths would finally cross. Golgotha style. You are Mary Magdalene to my Barabbas. The sodom up my Gomorrah.
True, I wasn't "invited" per say to the Women's Wednesday night bible study. But, let the record show that it was indeed a public establishment that they were arguing about Christ in and I had zero intention of robbing them. Or exposing myself. Or kidnapping for that matter. But sometimes you gotta show you mean business. Can I get an amen?
And as god is my witness, nor did I shoot your dog. Now...wait...just a god-damned creationist minute...you know as well as I do that ricochet's don't count. Its in the Bible.
Atheists really have no idea what they are missing.
All the usual characters were there too. There was Brenda "my husband just left me". She's been divorced 8 years. We have Claire "Jesus is going to kill everyone soon to show how loving and forgiving he is". Great rack. Says she's married but no one has ever seen her husband.
Ellen "8 kids" and Frita "7 kids". If you drop a bible on the floor anywhere near these two they get pregnant. Rumor has it that Ellen's uterus fell out one day right smack in the middle of communion. God bless her, she still managed to run VBS the rest of the day said Brenda. She scares me. Also in attendance is 'Sleepy' Samantha, 'Almost old enough to put in my spank bank' Casey and 'Crying' Rita who also holds the record for most Asians adopted this side of Seminary Hill.
But, you angel are my leading lady. My very own T.J Hooker cherubim. Yes you. Even busybodies Betty and Clare pretended not to notice your hotness (and they notice everything). They were facilitating last night and *that* was what finally put me over the edge. They finish each others sentences. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure Ellen and Frita were conspiring to murder you just for being single when I walked up and whipped out my pistols. Yes, one of them was a hard 9 inches of pure, lethal, pulsating, power and the other was my penis. If you, dear reader, happened to be in attendance, the air conditioning was WAY to high. Just saying.
In the ensuing melee, I never did catch your name. I did, like any good narcissist, leave my manifesto. Hopefully your almost done reading it. Hey, maybe you and the girls can study it? Casey told me to tell you 'hi'. She said that the age of consent in the Bible was 13. So. . . really, who am I too argue?
N.
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